Santa is a paedophile.
There’s no doubt in my mind
When children sit down on his knee
He’s feeling their behind.
His elves are dressed in skin-tight pants,
They’re only three feet tall,
And Santa, every single night
Takes one into his hall.
He watches children every day
To see if they behave;
He gives the nice ones lots of sweets
But it’s the naughty ones he craves.
He’s not particularly fussed
If it’s a girl or boy;
He’ll try to take them to his house
By giving them a toy.
So take heed, kids, on Christmas Eve
To watch out for this creep,
‘Cos otherwise he’ll fly right inAnd watch you while you sleep.