Thursday, 26 December 2013

Some Stuff I've Been Writing

I haven't been posting on here that regularly recently-partially because I haven't been in the country, partially because I'm working on some bigger projects, and partially because I've been writing for a couple of other sites as well. And on that last point, the more people who see these new things, the more I get paid (I've earnt like 10p so far. Yay.) So, I'm going to link the articles I've written each week to this blog, in the hope of earning literally pennies more... An article about orcas. An article on humpback whales. An article about Narwhals (because they are so awesome) A football one, a slightly irreverent match report...

And one I wrote for a completely different audience than it was published for, a religious satire sketch that got put onto a religious website... With apologies to anyone offended although, really, it isn't that offensive (or, I suspect, funny, but that's another matter)....

Anyway, hope you enjoy! And clicking on the ads on these articles gives me money, so...

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Back in Bloxwich

To celebrate my return from Africa (well, they're certainly celebrating now I'm gone), here's a poem about Bloxwich, and a sight I once saw there. With apologies to Percy Shelley, whom I've shameslessly ripped off.

I met a traveller from a common land
Who said: ‘Two vast and legless spray-tanned slags
Sleep in the gutter... Near them, on the street,
Half-drunk, two bottles of red wine, uncorked
And pouring vaguely crimson juices out
Into the bunged-up overflowing drain
To mingle with the faeces and the piss.
Under the bright half price stickers is shown
The label, read by flickering street-lamps:
"This wine was made from vines in Portugal
A mild and fruity taste, goes well with fish."
No dignity remains. Round the still shapes
Of those colossal wrecks, in rainbow hue,

A pool of vomit stretches far away.'